Last night i stayed in my old house
With million memories
Back to me again
Just last night in my dream

Last night i saw my mom and my dad together
Looked so happy
Back to me again
Just last night in my dream

Last night you texted me you love me
Im so excited
Back to me again
I hope it's not only in my dream

I hope i can life in my dream
If only i can feel the happiness again
Rather than reality

If only love was easy

Life will be better soon
Should be

Must be better
I will live in the better life

September. 2017

Lovable september
Long long gone since years ago

September
Different september
Bring so much happiness yet changed

Everything is changing
People come and go
Past never stayed, but in memories
They didn't matter. No longer did.

But you
Please stay
Always stay
For ever

Mungkin hati yang luka tidak bisa mencinta
dan bagaimana kau memaksanya untuk merasa bila kau yang berdosa.

Empty

And the worst thing i ever imagine is just happened now.

So empty.
Lonely.
Numb.

Do you know
The feeling when you finally found love
And find your way back home
Almost fall in tears
Because you just felt insanely happy

Something that doesnt need to be forced
Buu you really feel comfortable

Yes
Inside your eyes
Your voices
And your arms.

Similiar feeling

Suck
Is when you should face your own deep anxiety everyday.

A very deep fear just like when you left alone in nowhere of galaxy
Just floating with no direction in uncertain time

A very indescribable fear and you have no idea what should you do.

Pain is relative

So it makes me wonder

Am i so weak or too strong
That makes me want to give up with all of these things.

a kind of miscommunication
but it really destroyed my day

"you know you're in love when their emotions affected yours"
yes.

i lost my happiness today.

May, 29th 2017

God just fulfill my wishes in my last post.

Thank you so much, my dear
For everything
Especially, for "home and family" features.

Nothing i could say more
I do love you so much

may, 23rd 2017

alone

maybe around 4 days ahead, ramadhan will coming. again

again as lonely-girl-in-rent house

i hope i can visit you, mom

i hope i can meet you, dad

i hope we can spend our fasting together, dear brother and sister.

idk how to showed my longing to my family, homesickness...in me...

i just cant even describe it yet.

too huge

too painful

too numb

and ramadhan will never felt as holy, as pure as it used to be, before.

several years ago.

.

.

but after all

God still blessed me

and i still get the chance to celebrate ramadhan

and this year, God gave me someone on my side :')

hope this year will be fine, God.

give me strength, God. greater than yesterday.

aamiin.

for truly, my life become brighter, straighter, clearer and finer.
thanks, to you

dead and gone

i just wanna go home

i just want to sleep in my bed

i just want to hear my mom yells at me

i just want to giggle with my siblings

i just want to plan my future with my dad

i just want to have a family

a place to sheltered

to shares everything

to tells everything

to motivates me

to makes me feel that i'm not alone

---------------------------------------------------
bring them back, please

or at least makes me feel it again

People keep telling me wah kok ga bilang kai wah kok ga cerita wah wah wah ect ect
About everything

So?
You never ask me

While
Everytime when we met,
You keep talking and im just listening
About your life

Okay
I wont tell if you dont ask
Im not a drama queen
Who tells eveything to the world.

Im fine
I have no hard feelings

I just dont want to be the one to be blamed in this situation.

You make me laugh when i dont even want to smile

I don't wanna say goodnight
The city comes alive, when we're together
Why can't "wednesday" last forever
I don't wanna say goodnight

All time low - for baltimore

5 april 2017

Sate padang ati gajih
Mie tek tek sambel tekwan
Besok ujian

5 mawar merah ditengah tawa

again, i told ya

people will start to write something
to express her feelings

when she's falling in love
or falling apart

pengalih perhatian

trully, im afraid of trusting someone
putting  my expectation to someone
again
because i dont even know, are you the right one.
and i havent believe in myself yet.

im a chaos
and you dont know me yet
and you dont even ask me

but trully, i really enjoyed the time we spent together
your voice
and laugh
sweet distraction of any kind of mess in my life.

"So suddenly I'm in love with a strangerI can't believe she's mine
Now all I see is you with fresh eyes, fresh eyes"
(Andy Grammer - Fresh Eyes)

i just hope that you're not just a chapter, but the complement of my whole book

and i just hope that im good enough for you.

fate or fake

"Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut"

(All Time Low - Remembering Sunday)

i told you,
you are the best real-happening imaginations i ever set in my mind
the best scenario
the greatest background
the greatest characteristic
the greatest similarity

closely to the perfect fulfillment of my pray to God.
you.

now i realize that
i start having expectations to people
i start put my emotions to other
your mood suddenly affects mine

you.
yes. you

is that a good news or bad news?
is that a great beginning of happiness or just starting a worst ending?

fifty fairly love

Once I loved people equally

Maybe we were in love, equally

But someday without any words, love wasn’t fit to us anymore then it just went away

You became bitter

Left me with empty feeling, I had no idea of loving someone equally.

Twice I loved people

Unequally for me

I’ve been so over protecting of what’s mine

And they just went away

Left me with the questions o f loving someone equally

And when I got tired of love

Someone told me he loved me

And im not loving him equally

Ended with hurting each other feelings

Because I know you love yourself more than you love me

Then we hate each other equally

Then when the time comes

When I met you

Should we start to fall in love

Or we just end up with falling apart

To much fear

Of having no equality in love

Be my answer

Walk with your smile
My old wishes

Pray for your mind
Will go as i am

But kai
Your objective mind gets uncertain

And you still not belive in love
You care, because you dont want to break people. Again.

Masa PDKT itu adalah masa dimana perempuan menjadi si pahit lidah

Semua yang dia mau pasti terkabul.
.
.
Berkat usaha cowok yang ngedeketin dia.

Suddenly i remembered the first tought that passed on my mind when my mom left me,
"Jadi sekarang kalo kiki sakit siapa yang anterin ke dokter...?"

Haha i miss you, mom :"

Keep looking and opening her accounts
Adore her smile
Adore her beauty
Adore her personality

You keep asking yourself
Whats the thing in her that absence in you?
.
.
Self confidence kai.

Girls be like: hate to stay single but avoid affection and reject all boys.

Me.
Rite now.

Just lonely
Not ready to fall in love

HWOOOO SO MUCH MISSING THIS BLOG

haha

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lagi ga banyak ngerasa

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