Lay in dopamine, urgent.

There will come the time

When you just think

Everything starts being non sense

You have no idea what you’re doing right now

For what

You don’t know what should you do next

You have no motivation

And you just feel so numb

... and it happened today.

No clue-ing each other
Hoping each other
Hiding each other
Hurting each other
Disappointing each other

Maybe
No end.

You are busy
Accompanying your instinct to look for your destination
With a smile set on your face

I'm busy
Listening to every sad and deep meaning songs
Accompanying my absurd feeling
With million thought in my mind

About you

None of you is touching me directly, actually
Neither words
Nor hands

Just eyesight and smile.

But it's enough for me to be happy
In undefined range of time.

Down and the sudden temporary cures

Do you ever feel broken inside with perfect smile outside?
Do you ever cry in silent?
Do you ever hide your messy mind like there's nothing happen?
Like you lost your ability to feel.
In other people sight.

Yap today. I only have myself to blame for every bastard things that already happen.
I'm not okay
But even my tears forget how to work. Numb.
Too much things to handle, to much things to do, to much things to think.
Uneasy.

And when everything become so awful, be quiet suddenly to invite an attention, show other people that i have a problem, or angry to others are not the things that i can take.
Because the main reason of all this messy things is my own self.

Try to be cool.
I'm down
But i try to kill my own sadness.
Nobody will care and understand in this situation

People will judge me and point at me
When even i haven't fix my own feeling yet.
And i should sorry to everyone.

Added with the mellow session when i get his eyes. Hah .____.
You should ready, kai.

But at least God never leave me
At least I'm not going home early with this broken feeling.
At least i have the time to fix my own feeling, before responsibly to fix the damage of my work.
At least i have them.

You light up my soul when it's getting dark.
You know how to spin out my mind
You can change my mood easily
You show me that I'm not face it alone.
Thank you, smile makers :)