when i underestimate myself. when i think i am the worst person ever.

habis berurusan sama orang dan malah bikin efek buruk.

i had meet 2 actors before. i spent a lot of time with the first one. i always gave my best to him, everything looked fine. but, actually he never told me about my weakness.

is this an advantages or disadvantages?

both of them.

gara gara dia gak pernah bilang, habis sama dia.. aku bener bener ngerasa, hey i'm a good girl. i can make you happy. don' worry i have a strong heart. i will give my best to you, you'll never get hurt. lalala

tapi aku jadi gak sadar selama ini kurangnya apa.

dan kenapa pas detik terakhir dia jadi aneh dan beubah.

without saying anything to me.

and before i can think them clearly, the dumb me.. made another story with the 2nd.

and because i feel so proud about myself who has a huge heart and mature mind and strong feeling and i can give a happiness to anyone.. semuanya bermula.

gak tau gak ngerti maksud tuhan apa. there were so many things happen here.

i don't know who is right or wrong.

sometimes i think he was the worst

sometimes i think he couldn't understand me

sometimes i think he was so selfish

sometimes i think i just waste my time to cry and get sadness

too much ask, there were no give back.

and sometimes... i think he is.. the old me.

karma. totally karma.

the biggest problem here... he told me all of my weakness. waktu itu dibilang kayak gitu sih fine.

although sometimes i think.. whatever he already said to me is nonsense

nonsense? atau aku yang gak kebiasa.

dan sekalinya diginiin. pasti.

pasti kepikiran sampe detik ini aku ngetik.

and since he told me everything about me. i don't know they are true or not.

i underestimate myself.

i don't have any good thing to show. to give.

i can't be a good partner for anybody's life.

i only can cry, ask so many things, and can't understand others feeling

i can't change anybody to be better

i just a girl who has an awful life, and look for any attention and care.

aku... gampang.

you don't need to fight for me because i will not go far away from you.

rizkia itu ga ada bagusnya. ga ada pentingnya.

i don't know why you can totally change my perspective about myself.

i don't know why i suddenly feel sad about myself
rizkia can't determine which is right or wrong
rizkia is trouble maker.
dari dulu gasih? dari dulu emang aku bermasalah.

dan aku gaktau mau cerita ke siapa.

and now i meet you.

i'm afraid

i'm afraid 

jujur aku takut. cuma buang waktu kamu buat orang ga penting dan gak berharga kayak aku.